I Shall Not Die, but Live, and Declare the Works of the Lord

A Testimony

The tears forced their way out. Riding in the car it overcame me, death. It was a normal day, we were out as a family running errands, he drove, the kids were in the back seat, and out of no where the overwhelming sense of death gripped me. It was coming, so close it was as though I could feel its hands wrap around my throat. I tried to push it away, but the tears began to swell up as I turned my head looking out the window to hide my face. He reached over and took my hand in his. That was when the words came to me…

“I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.” (Psalm 118:17)

Over and over in my mind I said these words that had been so illuminated to me recently through a Derek Prince sermon. I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. Say it again, Michelle! I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord! I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord! By now I knew I was boldly rebuking the spirit of death, all the while my husband held onto my hand. He had no idea I was thinking these things or that I was fighting back tears. And to be honest, I wondered if death was after me. A few days later it came for him.

It was a normal autumn Saturday. I was busy cleaning the house and preparing for the cold days ahead. He was anxious to get out into the woods for some hunting, but the rain kept turning on and off outside. By late afternoon he decided it was worth going out in the constant drizzle. “I’ll be back, babe. I’m gonna go out in the woods for a little bit.” Those words I’ve heard countless times over the 24 years that we have lived here. Not a worry in my mind.

Sometime around 7:20pm I was in the basement putting something away and I heard he had come into the house. There were muffled voices speaking in the kitchen. I caught a word here and there. My oldest two children saying, “what happened daddy?” I could tell he was fighting to speak through heavy breaths. I was not alarmed, but walked swiftly upstairs, turned the corner and he stood with his hand over the center of his chest. He fought for the words through his pain, “I. fell… from my tree stand. It broke.” He sat down in a kitchen chair, could not bend forward. I removed his boots as he wretched in pain. After several minutes he finally agreed to letting me take him to the hospital to make sure he didn’t break anything. He walked to the car. He walked into the hospital very slowly, but he did it. After being put into a neck brace to be cautious since he fell from around 15 feet, and a series of cat-scans, the doctor came in and said, “you have fractured your sternum, there’s a spot on your brain that could be blood, and a vertebrae in your neck is fractured. Because of that we are transferring you by ambulance downtown to the University hospital. They are the only facility in the city that has the capabilities to treat this type of trauma.”

When stress hits me I remain calm on the outside, but my insides start shaking. They began to talk about the possibilities of neck surgery by the neuro team once he was transferred. I could not go straight down because our truck was too large to fit into the parking garage. The doctors advised I go home, pack a bag, wait for the doctors to call me, and get rest while I could.

There is a tiny part of you that is very aware that when you kiss your husband good bye in a hospital as he awaits an ambulance and possible spinal surgery, that it could be the last time. I was aware of that, but did not feel like that was the truth in this case. I had peace even though I was very much feeling the inner wrestlings of worry and fear.

I remembered.

God spoke to me about a month earlier, clear as day. “I’m going to be dealing with him, it won’t be easy, it’s going to be difficult, be ready for the call in the night.”

I fought with that. I didn’t want that to be what I was thinking it was. That whole first week after hearing those words in my heart, I prayed and prayed every-time he left and when he was at work. I thought for sure I was going to get a phone call in the night that he had a terrible car accident. The day before his fall, I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day and I said the words out loud, “what is it Lord, how is he going to get injured?” I remembered. The gracious warning, the Lord going before me and preparing me for the upcoming battle. That we need not fear. God is going to work it all out. As I drove home to switch cars, pack the bags, and wait for the phone call, I remembered who was in control.

My children were waiting for me when I walked through the door. I showered and dressed, ready to run out the door at any minute the phone rang. I laid in my bed with my children around me and told them that we needed to rest for just a bit. I prayed and asked God, “please Lord give me peace and give me rest.” That was 2am. I fell into the deepest sleep and did not wake until 6:38am. A supernatural, unexplainable peace washed over me, so much so that for a minute I felt guilt that I wasn’t in an anxious worried hurry. He was texting me. He was fine. He was and is a miracle. NO surgery, no brain bleed (that was a false reading), no nerve damage down his spine.

He was originally hunting at 25 feet up in the tree. Using his Summit climber stand that he has always used, he was descending and the cable that wraps around the tree snapped free. Somewhere around 15 feet up the force of the snap pitched him back, causing him to do a backwards flip, landing on his head, neck, and shoulders. He is 6’ 3”, 275 lbs of muscle mass. The force of his landing snapped his neck causing a c4 vertebrae fracture, a vascular break in his neck, and his chin going into his chest fracturing the sternum. Somehow he got up, gathered his stand, bungeed his back pack to his stand, put it all on his back and walked home, about 3/4 of a mile. The doctors, nurses, and therapist all said what a miracle it was that not only was he alive, but that he was walking and was showing zero signs of nerve damage.

Who but God? Death may come for us, but when God has a plan for our lives and we seek that plan with yearning hearts, it will be done. The Lord takes any evil planned against us and turns it for His glory and our good.

“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17

My husband is now walking the road to recovery. It has been difficult for him to give up so much control. He’s not able to work, not able to hunt, and not fully able to work around the house how he would like to. His job at Ford Motor Co. is currently going through times of uncertainty, his pay has been cut in half since he’s out on medical. Yesterday we found out that he needs to be off work another 6 weeks. When we came home from the hospital we found out that his mother is in her final days of life. Thankfully we live next door to my in-laws and can spend all the time we desire with them. It’s a hard season, wrestling with death and uncertainty, but there is not a question of God’s goodness in our life.